Quick, someone give me an opening joke!

 Well, just a tad bit too late for that, isn’t it? Well, since we’re all new here, I’d like to take the time to improperly introduce myself. You may call me Lego (please don’t sue me), but not Eggo. I enjoy pancakes, more so than waffles. But most of all, I breathe. How shocking.

Anywho, I might just ramble just small dumb and [hopefully] funny content for your entertainment. So, as a more formal greeting…

Welcome to hell! We hope you enjoy your stay!